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Commit 34cc759c by Xavier Antoviaque
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Integration of first part of the finalized script

parent 5c4135e1
Showing with 588 additions and 24 deletions
mentoring/mentoring.py
......@@ -117,4 +117,30 @@ class MentoringBlock(XBlock, XBlockWithChildrenFragmentsMixin):
load_resource('templates/xml/004_deciding_on_your_improvement_goal.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 5, Checking your improvement goal",
load_resource('templates/xml/005_checking_your_improvement_goal.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 6, Past attempts at change",
load_resource('templates/xml/006_past_attempts_at_change.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 7, Doing / not doing instead",
load_resource('templates/xml/007_doing_not_doing_instead.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 8, Checking your doing / not doing instead",
load_resource('templates/xml/008_checking_your_doing_not_doing_instead.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 9, Worry box",
load_resource('templates/xml/009_worry_box.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 10, Hidden commitments",
load_resource('templates/xml/010_hidden_commitments.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 11, Checking your hidden commitments",
load_resource('templates/xml/011_checking_your_hidden_commitments.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 12, Your immune system",
load_resource('templates/xml/012_your_immune_system.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 13, Checking the map",
load_resource('templates/xml/013_checking_the_map.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 14, Big assumptions",
load_resource('templates/xml/014_big_assumptions.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 15, Checking your big assumptions",
load_resource('templates/xml/015_checking_your_big_assumptions.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 16, Revising your entire map",
load_resource('templates/xml/016_revising_your_entire_map.xml')),
("Mentoring - Page 17, Checking the entire map",
load_resource('templates/xml/017_checking_the_entire_map.xml')),
("Mentoring - Annex, Help on revising immunity to change maps",
load_resource('templates/xml/800_help_on_revising_immunity_to_change_maps.xml')),
]
templates/xml/001_pre_goal_brainstorm.xml
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Pre-Goal Brainstrom</h3>
<p>What goals are you considering working on? Before choosing your goal, it's helpful to do some reflection exercises.</p>
<h3>Getting closer to your goal</h3>
<p>Welcome to the first step of the Immunity-to-Change&#x2122; process! Here, you will brainstorm some options for your improvement goal.</p>
<p>What goals are you considering working on for this course? Before choosing your goal, it's helpful to do some reflection exercises.</p>
<p>Think about what would you most like to get better at, or improve upon. The goal you choose to work on during the course--</p>
<ul>
<li>should be a "personal growth" goal vs. a "therapy goal" - e.g., 'to be more decisive,' 'to be a better listener,' 'to speak up more,' 'to be more spontaneous,' 'to be better organized,' 'to be less critical.' Not: 'to get over my depression,' 'come to terms with my parents' divorce,' 'work through a trauma.'</li>
<li>should be something you've tried to succeed at in the past, but have not made the progress you wanted (or the progress has been too temporary) [this will almost ensure you are picking an 'adaptive' vs. a 'technical' improvement goal]</li>
<li>should matter to you enough that you will want to stay connected to it throughout the course, but should not feel so sensitive or raw that you would be uncomfortable sharing it with the members of your online section (if you choose to do so). The teaching team will always be able to see your diary.</li>
<li>should be a "personal growth" goal vs. a "therapy goal"&#x2014;e.g., "to be more decisive," "to be a better listener," "to speak up more," "to be more spontaneous," "to be better organized," "to be less critical." Not: "to get over my depression," "come to terms with my parents' divorce," "work through a trauma."</li>
<li>should be something you've tried to succeed at in the past, but have not made the progress you wanted (or the progress has been too temporary). This will almost ensure you are picking an 'adaptive' versus a 'technical' Improvement Goal.</li>
<li>should matter to you enough that you will want to stay connected to it throughout the course, but should not feel so sensitive or raw that you would be uncomfortable sharing it with the teaching staff and other students (if you choose to do so). The teaching team will always be able to see your diary; it will always be your choice whether to share your diary with any fellow students.</li>
</ul>
<p>Do not edit yourself at this point. There are no wrong answers. Use this space to brainstorm.</p>
<p>Do not edit yourself at this point. There are no wrong answers. Use this space to brainstorm several possible goals.</p>
</html>
<answer name="pre-goal-brainstorm" />
......
templates/xml/002_getting_feedback.xml
......@@ -8,9 +8,9 @@
<answer name="pre-goal-brainstorm" read_only="true" />
<html>
<p>Before you select from among them, consider getting input from others. People that know you well may have a different idea of what changes would benefit you most. To complete this exercise, seek <strong>input from at least 3 people who know you well</strong>. What do they think would be a valuable thing for you to get better at? You might ask them: "Given how well you know me, if I could get significantly better at just one thing, what would you suggest that one thing should be?"</p>
<p>Before you select from among them, consider getting input from others. People that know you well may have a different idea of what changes would benefit you most. To complete this exercise, seek input from at least 3 people who know you well. What do they think would be a valuable thing for you to get better at? You might ask them: "Given how well you know me, if I could get significantly better at just one thing, what would you suggest that one thing should be?"</p>
<p>If you don't wish to ask anyone for feedback at this point, you may also think about past evaluations and feedback you have received.</p>
<p>Use this space to describe the feedback you received. What do they think about these goals? Do they think they are relevant to you? What goals did they mention that you may not have thought of? Do those additional goals make sense to you?</p>
<p>Use this space to describe the feedback you received. What did the people who know you well think you should focus on? What do they think about your brainstormed list of goals? Do they think they are relevant to you? What goals did they mention that you may not have thought of? Do those additional goals make sense to you?</p>
</html>
<answer name="pre-goal-feedback" />
......
templates/xml/003_reflecting_on_feedback.xml
......@@ -2,10 +2,15 @@
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Reflecting on your feedback</h3>
<p>Now that you have received feedback from others, would you like to revise your brainstorm list? Which goals are the most interesting to you now? Which goals are you most considering pursuing?</p>
<p>Now that you have received feedback from others, would you like to revise your original brainstorm list?</p>
</html>
<answer name="pre-goal-brainstorm" read_only="true" />
<html>
<p>Which goals are the most interesting to you now? Which goals are you most considering pursuing? Enter these below.</p>
</html>
<answer name="pre-goal-brainstorm2" />
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/004_deciding_on_your_improvement_goal.xml
......@@ -2,13 +2,13 @@
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Deciding on your improvement goal</h3>
<p>Now it's time to make your decision on which improvement goal you will pursue.</p>
<h4>(1) Write your goal in a sentence or phrase.</h4>
<p>Now it's time to make your decision on which Improvement Goal you will pursue. If you wish to begin by reviewing your pre-goal brainstorm work, you can TODO-LINK (instructions on how to access the Diary area).</p>
<p>(1) Write your goal in a sentence or phrase. Begin with "I am committed to getting better at&#x2026;" and complete the sentence.</p>
</html>
<answer name="improvement-goal" />
<html>
<h4>(2) Say why this goal is important.</h4>
<p>(2) Explain why this goal is important to you. It may seem odd that we are asking you to explain your goal. But what you choose for your Improvement Goal is a crucial part of this process because the entire course hinges on it. No matter how powerful the immunity-to-change process may be, if you are working with a goal that you haven't fully thought through or is not highly important to you, your whole experience is likely to be much weaker.</p>
</html>
<answer name="improvement-goal-importance" />
</mentoring>
......
templates/xml/005_checking_your_improvement_goal.xml
......@@ -7,28 +7,28 @@
<answer name="improvement-goal" read_only="true" />
<quizz name="goal-true" type="yes-no-unsure">
<quizz name="goal-true" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Is this goal true for you?</question>
<tip reject="no">Text on why it is important to choose a goal that is true for you and instructions to go back and revise your goal to make it meet the criteria.</tip>
<tip reject="unsure">Help on what true means.</tip>
<tip reject="maybenot">In the end, all the feedback you have gotten from others should not lead you to choose an Improvement Goal that does not also feel true and important to you. If you have chosen a goal that is based on what others want for you, but at the end of the day, it is not something you are really committed to for yourself, you are going to find it hard to have a powerful experience diagnosing and overturning your immunities. While we think the Immunity-to-Change technology is an amazing tool for people to use to make lasting change in their lives, you must put the tool to work. And the work is not easy. If your starting goal doesn't feel true for you, it is unlikely you will feel motivated enough to do the work necessary to make lasting change. We suggest you choose a new goal. You can revise your work by TODO-LINK.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">If a goal is true for you, that means it is one that you genuinely feel in your own heart to be something that you want to improve. For example, maybe others have told you that you should get better at staying organized and meeting deadlines. The question is, do you really want that for yourself? Try to be as honest as you can about what you really want. Maybe you know that the reason you are disorganized and not meeting deadlines is because you hate your work. The goal that feels true to you would then be I am committed to getting better at finding a career I will love. What is in your heart?</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="goal-implicate" type="yes-no-unsure">
<quizz name="goal-implicate" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Does this goal implicate you?</question>
<tip reject="no">Text on why it is important to choose a goal that implicates you and instructions to go back and revise your goal to make it meet the criteria.</tip>
<tip reject="unsure">Help on what 'implicates you' means.</tip>
<tip reject="maybenot">Since the Immunity-to-Change process focuses on your own growth and change, it is important to be clear about the ways you are hoping to change and improve. Your goal implicates you if it is clear that you will need to change in some way (not just that others need to shape up). If you don't have any control over your goal, it doesn't implicate you. If your goal is so vague that it isn't clear what about it you will need to change, it doesn't implicate you. For example, if you are thinking of a commitment such as "I am committed to everyone on my team being honest with each other," consider what you need to get better at to help your team be more honest. A commitment that implicates you might be, "I am committed to being more honest with my team members to encourage them to be more honest with me and each other." If your starting commitment doesn't make clear how you are implicated in the change you hope to see, go back and revise your goal before continuing. You can revise your work by TODO-LINK.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Your goal implicates you if it is clear that you must get better at something. Your goal should focus on something you can control. It should focus on something specific about yourself that you want to improve. If your goal is about changes you are hoping others will make, think about what your own role in that might be. For example, if you are thinking of a commitment such as, "I am committed to everyone in my team being honest with each other," consider what you need to get better at to help your team be more honest. A commitment that implicates you might be, "I am committed to being more honest with my team members to encourage them to be more honest with me and each other.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="goal-improvement" type="yes-no-unsure">
<quizz name="goal-improvement" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Is there room for improvement?</question>
<tip reject="no">Text on why it is important to choose a goal that has room for improvement and instructions to go back and revise your goal to make it meet the criteria.</tip>
<tip reject="unsure">Help on what 'room for improvement' means.</tip>
<tip reject="maybenot">If you have already realized your goal or are quite close to realizing your goal, you are unlikely to have a powerful learning experience in this course. The Immunity-to-Change process is designed to help you uncover how you are stuck and unable to make change on an important goal. If you are not stuck in your progress toward a goal, go back and choose a new goal where there is lots of room for improvement. You can revise your work by TODO-LINK.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Room for improvement means that you have not yet come close to fully accomplishing your goal. You are not even close to having 100% success. You probably don't even have 50% success. You could not accomplish this change in a weekend. There is room for improvement if you have made a little progress but then gotten stuck in your efforts to change. Or, it maybe you reached your goal temporarily but were unable to sustain that improvement. Or, maybe you feel you have gotten stuck before you even began to make improvements.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="goal-important" type="rating-unsure" low="Not at all important to me" high="Very important to me">
<quizz name="goal-important" type="rating-understand" low="Not at all important to me" high="Very important to me">
<question>How important is it to you?</question>
<tip reject="1,2,3">Text on why it is important to choose a goal that is important to you and instructions to go back and revise your goal to make it meet the criteria.</tip>
<tip reject="unsure">Help on what 'important' means.</tip>
<tip reject="1,2,3">The Immunity-to-Change process helps you uncover some of the core beliefs and assumptions you have held that are preventing you from making change. While the insights and changes that come from uncovering these beliefs and exploring them can be transformational, you will probably only be willing to undertake this work if your Improvement Goal is quite important you. If yours isn't, go back and identify one that feels very important to you. You can revise your work by TODO-LINK.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">A goal is important if it is one that could make a big difference in helping you reach your goals in your work life or your personal life (or both). You are willing to work hard on it. You are interesting in spending some time and energy on it and doing some thinking about why you haven't been able to improve before now. For most people, an Improvement Goal does not focus only a small detail of your life (e.g., remembering to say thank you sometimes when the bus driver is nice to me) but on something that feels pretty central, something that deserves some serious attention (e.g., being more compassionate to my wife).</tip>
</quizz>
<message type="completed">
......
templates/xml/006_past_attempts_at_change.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Past attempts at change</h3>
<p>Finally, you may wish to reflect on your past attempts at improvement. What previous attempts have you made to make this change? How did you attempt to implement this change? What process did you undertake to implement this change? What were the results? This reflection will help get your mental wheels turning for the first step in the next lesson.</p>
</html>
<answer name="past-attempts" />
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/007_doing_not_doing_instead.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Doing / Not Doing Instead</h3>
<p>We all do things that can run counter to, oppose, or hinder our goals. What specifically are you doing or not doing instead of taking steps to reach your Improvement Goal?</p>
<blockquote>Example: Fred is an aspiring novelist. His goal is to "get better at integrating creative writing into my daily life" but something he does instead is "I surf the internet when I have sat down to write." Something he does not do instead is "I don't schedule writing time into my week."</blockquote>
<p>Write your "Doing / Not Doing Instead" here.</p>
</html>
<answer name="doing-not-doing-instead" />
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/008_checking_your_doing_not_doing_instead.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Checking your Doing / Not Doing Instead</h3>
<p>Now, let's make sure your "Doing / Not Doing Insteads" are as clear as possible. Here is what you wrote:</p>
</html>
<answer name="doing-not-doing-instead" read_only="true" />
<quizz name="doing-not-doing-behavior" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Is each item you entered a behavior?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">You might have something in your list that isn't clearly a behavior, but instead is more like an inner state-something that is a description of a feeling or attitude you have. For example, you might have written something like "Don't like deadlines." If so, you should be able to convert that entry easily into a behavior. Ask yourself how that inner experience show up as behavior. You might list: "I don't meet deadlines" or "I complain to my colleagues about the deadlines we have to meet." When we get to column 3, it will make your work and learning much easier if you have been very specific and thorough in listing behaviors in column 2. If your list doesn't include a handful of behaviors that undermine your Improvement Goal, go back and revise that list to make it meet the criteria. You can revise your work by TODO-LINK.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Behaviors include what you do (your actions, what you say, as well as how you say or do things). Behaviors include whatever would be captured by a video camera filming you (with sound). Behaviors can also include what you say to yourself in your own head. For example, if you often silently tell yourself "Don't be selfish!" (and that self-talk undermines your column 1 Improvement Goal) you can list that as a behavior. If there are behaviors you should be doing to make progress on your column 1 Improvement Goal and you aren't currently or regularly doing them, you can list those too as examples of what you are "not doing."</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="doing-not-doing-work-against" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Do these behaviors work against achieving your goal?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">While it may be tempting to include all the things you are doing on behalf of your Improvement Goal, we aren't asking for that list. Just make as long and juicy a list as you can of the things you do and don't do that undermine your column 1 goal. This probably won't feel so good because you will feel like you are "telling on" yourself and admitting to all of the ways you are "naughty." But as you'll see, this list of behaviors will be a very valuable resource to you in helping you learn something new and important about yourself. If your list of "doing/not doing insteads" isn't a list of a handful of behaviors that undermine your column 1, go back and revise that list to make it meets the criteria. You can revise your work by TODO-LINK.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Behaviors that work against achieving your goal are the things that you do that do not move your closer to your goal. Instead, they move you further away. For example, if my Improvement Goal is "to get better at listening to my employees," some behaviors that work against that might be: "I don't ask my employees to tell me what they think. I do all the talking. When employees do talk, I often interrupt them." All of those behaviors take me further away from my Improvement Goal.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="doing-not-doing-not-explain-why" type="yes-maybe-understand" labels="Yes, I don't explain why;Maybe I do explain a little;I don't understand">
<question>Do you make sure not to explain why you are doing those things?</question>
<tip reject="maybe">It may be tempting to include all the reasons why you are doing things that run counter to your column 1 Improvement Goal and to start identifying how you could start making changes to your behavior. But please don't include these reasons. Just make as long and juicy a list as you can of the things you do and don't do that undermine your column 1 goal. This probably won't feel so good, because you will feel like you are "telling on" yourself and admitting to all of the ways you are "naughty." But as you'll see, this list of behaviors will be a very valuable resource to you in helping you learn something new and important about yourself. If your list of "doing/not doing insteads" isn't a list of a handful of behaviors that undermine your column 1, go back and revise that list to make it meets the criteria. You can revise your work by TODO-LINK.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Explaining why you are doing these things means you are including the reasons for the things you do (or don't do) that undermine your column 1 Improvement Goal. For example, if my Improvement Goal is "to get better at taking care of myself," and I wrote in column 2 "I don't take enough time to relax at the end of the day," I should not include explanations about why I don't take enough time at the end of the day. We are sure you have good reasons! But don't include them here.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="doing-not-doing-not-explain-how" type="yes-maybe-understand" labels="Yes, I don't explain how I will change;Maybe I do explain a little;I don't understand">
<question>Do you make sure not to explain how you will change?</question>
<tip reject="maybe">You may want to start explaining what you now plan to do to eliminate, stop, or cut out these behaviors. But that means that you're trying to engage in improvement by assuming you can just cut out your bad behaviors or just start doing new, more productive things. You are taking what we call a New Year's Resolution approach to change, assuming that when you know that what you are doing is "naughty," you can will yourself to make those changes. As with New Year's Resolutions, we find that this approach does not often lead to success. Maybe you have had that experience too? Immunity to Change presents a different approach to change, so please put your attempts to start solving your problems on hold for a while longer. We're still getting a clear picture of the problem, and that is our focus for now. We think you'll find it worth the wait! If your list of "doing/not doing insteads" isn't a list of a handful of behaviors that undermine your column 1, go back and revise that list so that each entry meets the criteria. You can revise your work by TODO-LINK.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">If you are explaining how you will change, you are coming up with ideas and plans for how to stop doing these "bad" behaviors. You are seeing that you are working against your goal, and you probably want to stop doing that! But, we find that simply trying to change bad behaviors does not often lead to success for many people. Maybe you have had that experience too? Immunity to Change presents a different approach to change, so please put don't start trying to solve your problems yet. We're still getting a clear picture of the problem, and that is our focus for now. We think you'll find it worth the wait!</tip>
</quizz>
<message type="completed">
Great! You have indicated that you have listed behaviors that work against your goal, without explaining why you do those things or how you will change. This approach will allow you to move onto to the next step with clarity.
</message>
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/009_worry_box.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Worry box</h3>
<p>Here are your "Doing / Not Doing Insteads."</p>
</html>
<answer name="doing-not-doing-instead" read_only="true" />
<html>
<p>Now, let's fill out the "worry box." If you were to consider doing the opposite of each of those behaviors in Column 2, what are the fears, worries, feelings of loss that come up for you?</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Let's return to Fred, our aspiring novelist whose goal is to "get better at integrating creative writing into my daily life" but instead admits that he surfs the internet instead of writing and doesn't schedule writing time into his week.</p>
<p>Fred thinks about how it would feel to give himself a set schedule for writing and hold himself to it. He tries to imagine what it would be like to have and keep a schedule. Why is that such a turn-off? What feeling of dread arises? Fred thinks for a moment and realizes that he only wants to write when inspiration strikes. He loves writing when he has a creative impulse and lots of energy to pursue his ideas. Writing on a schedule seems boring and routine. It sounds like the opposite of creativity and inspiration. He makes the following entry in his worry box:</p>
<p>Worry Box: If I were to maintain a writing schedule, I'm afraid of feeling stifled, dull, like I am plodding along.</p>
</blockquote>
</html>
<quizz name="list-common-worries" type="yes-no">
<question>You can enter your worries below, or you can view some common worries first. Would you like to see a list of some of the most common fears and worries people list?</question>
<tip display="yes">
<html>
<p>If I were to do the opposite of one of my column 2 doing/not doing instead behaviors&#x2026;</p>
<ul>
<li>I am afraid of looking stupid / being rejected</li>
<li>I am afraid of being vulnerable, open to rejection</li>
<li>I am afraid of letting others down</li>
<li>I am afraid of looking weak and ineffective</li>
<li>I am afraid of looking selfish</li>
<li>I am afraid of being seen as controlling or a micro-manager</li>
<li>I am afraid of failing, being a loser</li>
<li>I am afraid of looking bad</li>
<li>I am afraid of feeling vulnerable</li>
<li>I am afraid of being alone</li>
<li>I am afraid of showing what I care about, what I can do</li>
<li>I am afraid people won't like me</li>
<li>I am afraid of looking like I think I am superior</li>
<li>I am afraid something will go wrong and it will be my fault</li>
</ul>
</html>
</tip>
<tip display="no">You can read this later by changing your answer to Yes.</tip>
</quizz>
<html>
<p>Enter your worries here. Make sure you consider doing the opposite of each of the behaviors you listed in the "Doing / Not Doing Instead."</p>
</html>
<answer name="worry-box" />
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/010_hidden_commitments.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Hidden Commitments</h3>
<p>We hold Hidden Commitments to prevent the fears or losses in our worry box from happening. In many cases, these Hidden Commitments keep us from even feeling the fears or losses. They protect us from those bad feelings and bad results.</p>
<p>Many times, you can simply change the wording in your worry box, converting your list of fears and worries into a list of Hidden Commitments.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>That is what Fred did. As you'll recall, Fred wants to get better at integrating creative writing into his daily life but instead admits that he surfs the internet instead of writing and doesn't schedule writing time into his week. If he were to schedule writing time, he worries he would feel like his creativity is being stifled. He converts this worry into the language of a commitment.</p>
<p>Worry: I'm afraid of feeling stifled, dull, like I am plodding along.</p>
<p>Hidden Commitment: I am committed to never feeling stifled or under force.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Ideally, you want these commitments to capture as much of the danger/worry/dread from which you have been protecting yourself as you can. In some cases, you may look to see if it makes sense to change the wording a little bit when you convert your fears and worries to commitments. Or, you may add entries that really express the ways you have been keeping yourself out of that territory. Fred could try different ways of wording his commitment to get to what is most fearsome and dangerous for him.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Other possible Hidden Commitments for Fred:</p>
<ul>
<li>I am committed to experiencing myself only as brilliant, inspired, listening only to the beautiful voice of my muse.</li>
<li>I am committed to not finding out whether I have the discipline and drive to be a writer and not just a dabbler.</li>
<li>I am committed to preventing myself from finding out that I don't actually have anything meaningful to say in my writing.</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
</html>
<quizz name="display-common-hidden-commitments" type="yes-no">
<question>You can enter your Hidden Commitments below, or you can view some common commitments first. Would you like to see a list of some of the most common Hidden Commitments?</question>
<tip display="yes">
<html>
<ul>
<li>I am committed to not looking stupid / being rejected</li>
<li>I am committed to not being vulnerable, open to rejection</li>
<li>I am committed to never letting others down</li>
<li>I am committed to always making others happy</li>
<li>I am committed to not looking weak and ineffective</li>
<li>I am committed to not looking selfish</li>
<li>I am committed to not being seen as controlling or a micro-manager</li>
<li>I am committed to not being a loser</li>
<li>I am committed to always looking good</li>
<li>I am committed to not being vulnerable</li>
<li>I am committed to not being alone</li>
<li>I am committed to hiding what I care about, what I can do</li>
<li>I am committed to having everyone like me</li>
<li>I am committed to hiding my feelings of being superior</li>
<li>I am committed to not being responsible for anything going wrong</li>
</ul>
</html>
</tip>
<tip display="no">You can read this later by changing your answer to Yes.</tip>
</quizz>
<answer name="hidden-commitments" />
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/011_checking_your_hidden_commitments.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Checking your Hidden Commitments</h3>
<p>Now, let's make sure your Hidden Commitments meet the criteria for appropriate entries. Here is what you wrote:</p>
</html>
<answer name="hidden-commitments" read_only="true" />
<quizz name="hidden-commitments-fear" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Do all of your Hidden Commitments follow from fear?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">The third column helps us understand why we persist in doing our "doings instead." Immunity to Change suggests that there might very good reasons why we are doing those things, but we usually are not aware of what those reasons are. If some of our reasons for our "doings instead" are scary to us, it is probably harder to identify them, reflect on them, and consider what we might learn from them. Our Hidden Commitments are our mental strategies for standing far away from what we see as danger, disaster, or vulnerability. They are commitments to protecting-usually over-protecting ourselves from these terrible feelings and outcomes. These forms of protection therefore often look quite undesirable to us &#x2014; showing us ways we can look and feel selfish, weak, overly controlling, at the mercy of others, insecure or needy, vain or egomaniacal. They take us into territory within ourselves we usually want to avoid. The yuckier your Hidden Commitments feel to you, the more you can be sure you have identified a powerful and perhaps up-until-now secret force that has been directing your behavior against your conscious will. If your third column commitments don't include what felt most powerfully dangerous from your fears, these commitments will not lead to the most powerful learning for you. If your entries don't capture your fears and worries, spend some time thinking, "What is the danger lurking for me? In what way am I trying to protect myself?" Then go back and revise your entries by TODO-LINK.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">What we mean when we say that Hidden Commitments should follow from the fear is that they should include the fear somehow. They are commitments to prevent this fear from happening, so you should still be able to see the fear in them. An easy way to do this is to create a Hidden Commitment is to change the wording of your fear. For example, the fear "I worry that people will think I'm stupid" can easily be changed to the Hidden Commitment, "I am committed to not looking stupid."</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="hidden-commitments-noble" type="maybe-no-understand">
<question>Do any of your Hidden Commitments sound "noble"?</question>
<tip reject="maybe">It's easy to misunderstand what we mean by commitment. The word commitment sounds like something you should feel proud of and something you should deliberately choose as a goal. But the Hidden Commitments in your third column should feel very different. If your third column entries are powerful, these commitments will actually make you feel very uncomfortable. Often people tell us they feel a sinking or tightening sensation in their chest or gut. While all of these experiences are indeed unpleasant, we think that is actually a positive sign that you are coming to see something powerful about yourself. Our Hidden Commitments are our mental strategies for standing far away from what we see as danger, disaster, or vulnerability. They are commitments to protecting &#x2014; usually over-protecting ourselves from these terrible feelings and outcomes. These forms of protection therefore often look quite undesirable to us &#x2014; showing us ways we can look and feel selfish, weak, overly controlling, at the mercy of others, insecure or needy, vain or egomaniacal. They take us into territory within ourselves we usually want to avoid. The yuckier your Hidden Commitments feel to you, the more you can be sure you have identified a powerful and perhaps up-until-now secret force that has been directing your behavior against your conscious will. If any of your Hidden Commitments sound noble &#x2014; if they sound like things you would be proud to say out loud &#x2014; spend some time thinking, "What is the danger lurking for me? In what way am I trying to protect myself?" Then go back and revise your entries by TODO-LINK.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Noble commitments are values that we are proud of, that we like, that we are happy to hold and happy for others to see. Hidden commitments should not be noble. Instead, they should feel yucky, unpleasant. Maybe we even feel a little sick when we see them. For example, "I am committed to being successful" sounds pretty noble, pretty great, something I am happy to be working on and happy for others to know about me. So that is not a good Hidden Commitment. But, maybe there is a yucky, unpleasant version of this that could be a good Hidden Commitment. If my fear is "that I won't succeed," I can explore that fear a bit further. What would be the worst thing about not succeeding for me? Maybe I would really hate for others to see me making mistakes. (Hidden commitment: I am committed to not making any mistakes in front of others.) Maybe the worst thing would be that I would prove to myself that I am not special or gifted. (Hidden commitment: I am committed to believing I am special or gifted.) Maybe the worst thing is that I will be wrong. (Hidden commitment: I am committed to being right. Or, I am committed to not being wrong.) These Hidden Commitments are not so noble. I feel a little ashamed and vulnerable. I feel like I want to keep them hidden.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="hidden-commitments-protection" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Do all of your Hidden Commitments reflect a commitment to self-protection?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">Hidden commitments are forms of self-protection. They protect us from the dangers that lurk in our fears. Our Hidden Commitments are our mental strategies for standing far away from what we see as danger, disaster, or vulnerability. They are commitments to protecting &#x2014; usually over-protecting ourselves from these terrible feelings and outcomes. These forms of protection therefore often look quite undesirable to us &#x2014; showing us ways we can look and feel selfish, weak, overly controlling, at the mercy of others, insecure or needy, vain or egomaniacal. They take us into territory within ourselves we usually want to avoid. When you look at your Hidden Commitments, you should also be able to see how you have been protecting yourself from that dangerous territory. If yours don't, spend some time thinking, "What is the danger lurking for me? In what way am I trying to protect myself?" Then go back and revise TODO-LINK</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Hidden commitments are a form of self-protection. We have them to keep us away from danger and fear. They protect us when they prevent us from changing our behavior. They protect us from what we fear would happen if we change our behavior. They tell us we must never do the opposite of what we wrote in column 2 or the terrible fears and worries we have in column 3 might happen. For example, maybe I am trying to get better at being honest with my friends (column 1), but I only tell them what I think they want me to say (column 2). If I were to tell them what I really think (the opposite of column 2), I fear they won't like me. I have a Hidden Commitment to having everyone like me. That commitment keeps me from telling my friends what I really think and so it protects me from my friends not liking me. It even protects me from worrying that my friends won't like me. Unfortunately, it also keeps me from making progress on my Improvement Goal of being honest with my friends.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="hidden-commitments-doing-not-doing" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Do all of your Hidden Commitments show why each of your column 2 behaviors (Doing / Not Doing Insteads) makes good sense?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">Your Hidden Commitments should show you that the behaviors in column 2 that look bad (because they undermine your column one goal) are actually useful behaviors from the point-of-view of the psychic immune system. They are useful because they help you uphold your column 3 commitments, which are powerful Hidden Commitments. You should be able to see why it hasn't worked in the past and won't work in the future to try to change those behaviors only through willpower or increased effort. The harder you step on the gas (trying to make progress on your column 1 goal by changing your column 2 behaviors), the harder your other foot will step on the brakes (upholding your column 3 commitment by maintaining your column 2 behaviors). As a result, we spend a great deal energy trying to go in opposite directions at the same time. If you can't see how your Hidden Commitments make your behaviors in column 2 look perfectly reasonable, that's a sign that you've gotten off track somewhere. Look to see if you need to revise your Hidden Commitments or go back to your fears TODO-LINK to see if you need to get clearer about them.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Your column 2 behaviors (the doing/not doing insteads) are bad because they work against your column 1 goal (your Improvement Goal). But we can also see that are good too because they uphold your column 3 commitments (Hidden Commitments). Our Improvement Goal pulls us in one direction, and our Hidden Commitments pull us in the opposite direction. In fact, we are working very hard to move in both directions at the same time, and so we actually don't move at all. That is how our immune system works.</tip>
</quizz>
<message type="completed">
Great! You have indicated that your Hidden Commitments follow from fear, reflect a commitment to self-protection, are not noble, and reveal why their matching column 2 behavior makes good sense.
</message>
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/012_your_immune_system.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Your Immune System</h3>
<p>Now, let's take a look at the picture that is emerging in your map. It is a picture of your immune system:</p>
</html>
<mentoring-table name="TODO-MAP" />
<html>
<p>The arrows you see in your map represent two powerful forces working in opposition. Each force is generating lots of energy, with the net effect of keeping you in the exact same place: immune to change. The arrows suggest there is a single "system" at work across the three columns. We call this system an "immune system" because we believe the mind, like the body, has an immune system &#x2014; an invisible, ceaseless dynamic that exists for one purpose: to keep us out of trouble, to protect us, even to save our lives. However, our immune systems &#x2014; physical or mental &#x2014; can still get us in trouble, even when they are working on our behalf. When the immune system is in error, when it sees a danger that is not there, it will go to work "protecting" us from the very thing we may need in order to thrive.</p>
<p>Now, describe how your own immune system is working both to protect you from and danger AND is simultaneously preventing you from making progress on your Improvement Goal.</p>
</html>
<answer name="immune-system-description" />
<quizz name="immune-system-described" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Were you able to describe how your own immune system is working?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">
<html>
<p>Your entries in column 3 should show you why simply trying to change your column 2 behaviors (your "doing/not doing insteads") doesn't work. You can't just will yourself to change your behavior and make progress on your Improvement Goal, because the more you do change, the more uncomfortable you will actually get. It is as if you are sitting behind the wheel of a car with your right foot on the gas. Your right foot is working on your Improvement Goal. You step on the gas, trying to speed up, to get more momentum going in the direction you'd like to be moving. You step on the gas even harder. The car engine is revving. The car is even shaking as it holds this increased force. But the car isn't actually going anywhere. Why?</p>
<p>The car isn't going anywhere because your left foot is on the brake. The harder your right foot presses on the gas (by making plans and resolutions to go to the gym), the harder your left foot steps on the brake. The foot on the brake is working to make sure you don't take yourself into the dangerous territory where your fears and worries live.</p>
</html>
</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Your Improvement Goal is how you pull in one direction. Your Hidden Commitments show you how you also pull in the opposite direction. Your immune system shows you how you have been working very hard to move in both directions at the same time. Can you describe in your own words how your own specific immune system is working using your column 1 goal and your Hidden Commitments?</tip>
</quizz>
<message type="completed">
Great! You have indicated that you can see and describe how your immune system functions to protect you from danger AND is also preventing you from making progress on your Improvement Goal. You are ready to move on to the next step.
</message>
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/013_checking_the_map.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Checking the map</h3>
<p>Let's make sure your entries so far meet the criteria for a successful map. Here is your current map:</p>
</html>
<mentoring-table name="TODO-MAP" />
<quizz name="map-interesting" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Does this map look a least a little bit interesting to you?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">Identifying your own Hidden Commitments provides you with a picture of your personal immunity to change. At this point, you should have arrived at something that intrigues you because it sheds new light on the struggles you have been having in making progress on your Improvement Goal. Understanding your immune system should help you better understand how and why you get stuck. If you are not intrigued, it might be that you have misunderstood some aspects of the directions for how to make your immunity map. Or, maybe you understood, but need to reflect more deeply to see if there are new insights you could come to that would be more interesting for you to consider.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Does your map help you understand yourself? Does it get and keep your attention? Can you see why and how you have been struggling to change?</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="map-powerful" type="rating-understand" low="Least" high="Most">
<question>Does this map, as a whole, feel powerful to you?</question>
<tip reject="1,2,3">If your map doesn't yet feel powerful to you, we suggest you do some more reflection to see if you can increase its power. Our immune systems, when they are functioning, can be enormously powerful because they show us how and why we may be spending a great deal of energy keeping things exactly the way they are. We are spending a great deal of energy to change nothing. If that is the case, there is very likely a powerful dynamic in play. Seeing that dynamic clearly allows us a much better chance of altering it. If the immune system you have sketched across your first three columns does not feel powerful to you, it might be that you have misunderstood some aspects of the directions for how to make your immunity map. Or, maybe you understood but need to reflect more deeply to see if there are new insights you could come to that would be more interesting for you to consider.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Does seeing your map (your immunity to change) have a strong effect on you? Does it show you how your immune system has been influencing you, controlling you?</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="map-explore-more" type="rating-understand" low="Least" high="Most">
<question>Is this a map that you'd like to spend more time exploring?</question>
<tip reject="1,2,3">Your Immunity-to-Change will form the basis for all the learning you will do in this online course. If you haven't diagnosed an immune system that you want to spend time exploring, you are going to have a hard time doing the work to overturn your immune system. At this point, you won't yet know how to solve your problem and overturn your immunity. That will come later. We can't get to the right solution if we don't truly understand the problem. We will come to a solution, but only after you have "gotten the problem right." If you aren't interested in the immunity you have sketched out so far, we would advise you to spend some more time with your map until you have a picture of an immune system that you would like to explore further to eventually solve. You might even consider starting over again from the beginning.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Would you like to learn more about your immune system? In this course, you will learn more about why you have this immune system. You will learn more about how your immune system has been working. And you will learn more about how you can change your immune system.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="map-interesting-more-ideas" type="yes-no">
<question>Do you want some more ideas about how to revise your map to make it more interesting to you?</question>
<tip reject="yes">TODO-LINK to "Help on Revising Immunity to Change Maps."</tip>
</quizz>
<message type="completed">
Fantastic. You have indicated that you find your map to be interesting, powerful, and is something you'd like to explore more. You have also indicated that you do not wish to see additional resources on revising your map (TODO-LINK though you can access these resources at any time by clicking here). You have the chance to explore your map further in the next steps and throughout the course.
</message>
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/014_big_assumptions.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Big assumptions</h3>
<p>There are two options you can follow here to create your Big Assumptions.</p>
<p>Option 1) Use deduction. Look at one of your Hidden Commitments. Now ask yourself, "what assumptions must I be making that make this commitment necessary for me?" "What could be the assumptions I hold that sustain this commitment?" For example, if I am committed to always being right, what might I be assuming? Maybe&#x2026;</p>
<ul>
<li>I assume that if I am not right, I can't feel good about myself.</li>
<li>I assume that if I am not right, others won't trust me.</li>
<li>I assume that if I am not right, no one will like me.</li>
<li>I assume I am either right or wrong.</li>
<li>I assume I should never say or do something that might turn out to be wrong.</li>
<li>I assume that if I am always right, I will always feel good about myself.</li>
<li>Only you know which Big Assumption is true for you.</li>
</ul>
<p>Sometimes worry box entries (rather than Hidden Commitments) reveal assumptions.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Here is Fred's worry box entry: "If I were to schedule writing time, I'm afraid I would feel like my creativity is being stifled." This assumption underlies that fear: If I were to schedule writing time, I assume that I would feel like my creativity is being stifled. That is an assumption Fred is making. Fred may feel that assumption is 100% true. Or he may know it is not 100% true, but also admit that he acts as if it is. Or he may be unsure about whether it is true or not.</p>
<p>Option 2) Use the formula. Choose a 3rd column commitment and consider its inverse (e.g. "I am committed to never revealing that I don't have all the answers." The inverse is "I do reveal I don't have all the answers.") Now construct a sentence, the first half of which is in this form: I assume that if [inverse of 3rd column entry] THEN: the second half of the sentence will be your honest completion of the sentence. e.g. I assume that if I do reveal I don't have all the answers&#x2026; then I will be considered a fraud.</p>
<p>Let's work with Fred's Hidden Commitment: "I am committed to never feeling stifled or under force." The inverse if "I do feel stifled or forced." His formula is: "I assume that if I do feel stifled or forced, then I will feel absolutely awful, my creative spark will be extinguished, and it might be permanent."</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Please review your map so far, especially your Hidden Commitments, before entering your Big Assumptions.</p>
</html>
<mentoring-table name="TODO-MAP" />
<html>
<p>Enter your Big Assumptions here.</p>
</html>
<answer name="big-assumptions" />
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/015_checking_your_big_assumptions.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Checking your Big Assumptions</h3>
<p>Now, let's make sure your Big Assumptions meet the criteria for appropriate entries. Here is what you wrote:</p>
</html>
<answer name="big-assumptions" read_only="true" />
<quizz name="big-assumptions-necessary" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Do your Big Assumptions make your column 3 commitments absolutely necessary?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">Your Big Assumptions should show why one or more of your Hidden Commitments feel absolutely necessary. Big Assumptions are beliefs about ourselves, others, or the world that provide the reasons why we are committed to things we have named in column 3. You should be able to follow your map backwards &#x2014; to see how the Big Assumptions make your third column commitments necessary; how the third column commitments lead to your second column behaviors; and how these behaviors undermine your column 1 goals. If your Big Assumptions don't explain why your Hidden Commitments are necessary, go back and revise your entry to make it meet the criteria by TODO-LINK</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Big Assumptions are beliefs that lead us to hold tightly to our column 3 commitments. If I assume that if others don't always like me, then I am not a good person and cannot like myself (a Big Assumption), then I will stay committed to having everyone like me (a Hidden Commitment). In fact, I must have everyone like me so that I will never have to experience the possibility that I am not a good person or that I cannot like myself.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="big-assumptions-bad" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Do your Big Assumptions have a "big time bad" conclusion for you?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">The world is bigger than what our Big Assumptions have allowed us to see. We could explore this bigger world and have more choices about how to live and behave, but we don't, because our Big Assumptions haven't let us. They warn us of the danger, the dire consequences, the catastrophe that awaits us if we don't live according to their rules. If at least some of your Big Assumptions don't suggest that some terrible fate awaits you if you violate your Hidden Commitments, go back and revise your entries to include that sense of danger by TODO-LINK</tip>
<tip reject="understand">It would be much easier to change the beliefs and behaviors that work against our goals if we didn't worry that these changes might very likely lead to bad results. The bad results are the things we fear and worry about in column 3. And if we had to actually experience those bad results, then something even worse might happen! At least some of your Big Assumptions should tell you what you believe that even worse thing would be.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="big-assumptions-contracted-world" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Do your Big Assumptions display a contracted world?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">Your Big Assumptions set clear limits on what you must do and what you must not do. That is, you should be able to see that your Big Assumptions are rules you have for how to live your life, rules you must always follow if you want to avoid danger and disaster and defeat. But you might also be able to see (at least hypothetically) that like any other rule, they could be broken. When we treat an assumption as if it is the absolute truth, we allow it to rule our actions. We allow it to shape everything we see. We don't consider or explore any other possibilities, and so it continues to hold enormous power over us. That is why it is a Big Assumption. But if and when we are able to name the Big Assumptions underlying our immunities to change, we are able to consider that they may not actually be 100% true, that they limit our choices, our view of what is possible. If you are having a hard time determining if your Big Assumptions do display a contracted world, you might ask someone else to look at them and see if he or she believes they are always and necessarily 100% accurate in his/her view. If you don't have at least one Big Assumption that you can see might not be 100% true 100% of the time, see if you can identify others that you can see might feel true but also might not actually be true. You can go back and revise your entry by TODO-LINK</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Do your Big Assumptions limit what you do? Do they limit what you can choose? Do they limit how you can think? If I assume that a good mother must always put her children's wants and needs before her own, then I am limiting myself. I don't allow myself to wonder whether a good mother can meet both her needs and her children's needs. I don't allow myself to say no to my children if they want something that I do not want. I don't even see that I am making choices because my Big Assumptions tell me I must think and behave in these ways.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="big-assumptions-real" type="rating-understand" low="Least" high="Most">
<question>Do your Big Assumptions feel real to you?</question>
<tip reject="1,2,3">Some of your Big Assumptions may feel undeniably true ("What do you mean, "an assumption"? I think this is exactly the awful thing that would happen!"). Some assumptions you may know aren't really true (although you act and feel as if they were true); and some you may feel are only partially or sometimes true. Maybe there are some assumptions where you are unsure if they are true or not. All of these types of Big Assumptions should go in your 4th column, and will be valuable resources when you begin to do the work on overturning your immune system. But all of your Big Assumptions should feel like they have some degree of truth for you. Even if you can intellectually argue with yourself that your Big Assumption doesn't make sense, you should also be able to see that on some level, you are not convinced of that or you would be doing things differently than you are. If your Big Assumptions don't seem to feel real or true to you on some level, go back and revise them by TODO-LINK</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Do some of your Big Assumptions feel like they are true? Do they feel like they are not assumptions, but are just facts? Is it hard to imagine that they might not be true? That you could change your mind about any (or all) of them? Then your Big Assumptions feel real to you.</tip>
</quizz>
<message type="completed">
Fantastic! You have indicated that your Big Assumptions make your Hidden Commitments totally necessary, that they have a "big time bad conclusion for you," that they display a contract world, and they feel real. Your map is now complete.
</message>
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/016_revising_your_entire_map.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Revising your entire map</h3>
</html>
<mentoring-table name="TODO-MAP with big assumptions" />
<html>
<p>This is your completed map. Congratulations on finishing it! At this point, you may wish to edit it to reflect the goals, commitments, and assumptions that you will be focusing on during the next few months. It's fairly common for your first draft map to have lots of goals, commitments, and assumptions, but when we move into the experiment phase, it can be helpful to focus only one, single, coherent story. You may also want to review the extra tips in the "Help on Revising Immunity to Change Maps" section (TODO-LINK). You are welcome to edit your map here. You will not lose your original map.</p>
<h4>Improvement goal:</h4>
</html>
<answer name="improvement-goal" read_only="true" />
<html>
<p>Revise here:</p>
</html>
<answer name="improvement-goal-revised" />
<html>
<h4>Doing / Not Doing Instead:</h4>
</html>
<answer name="doing-not-doing-instead" read_only="true" />
<html>
<p>Revise here:</p>
</html>
<answer name="doing-not-doing-instead-revised" />
<html>
<h4>Worry box:</h4>
</html>
<answer name="worry-box" read_only="true" />
<html>
<p>Revise here:</p>
</html>
<answer name="worry-box-revised" />
<html>
<h4>Hidden commitments:</h4>
</html>
<answer name="hidden-commitments" read_only="true" />
<html>
<p>Revise here:</p>
</html>
<answer name="hidden-commitments-revised" />
<html>
<h4>Big assumptions:</h4>
</html>
<answer name="big-assumptions" read_only="true" />
<html>
<p>Revise here:</p>
</html>
<answer name="big-assumptions-revised" />
</mentoring>
</vertical>
templates/xml/017_checking_the_entire_map.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<html>
<h3>Checking the entire map</h3>
</html>
<mentoring-table name="TODO-MAP with big assumptions and revised fields" />
<html>
<p>If you are satisfied with this map, you don't need to do anything else. If you are not satisfied with this map, you go back and revise again. TODO-LINK</p>
</html>
</vertical>
templates/xml/800_help_on_revising_immunity_to_change_maps.xml 0 → 100644
<vertical>
<mentoring>
<html>
<h3>Help on Revising Immunity to Change Maps</h3>
<p>Now, let's make sure your goal meets the criteria for a strong column 1. Here is your goal:</p>
<h4>Making Your Map More Powerful</h4>
<p>If you have filled in columns 1-3 (or even 4) but haven't yet created an immunity map that feels both compelling and intriguing to you, it is worth going back over your answers now to see if you can revise them. Even if your map feels like it packs a punch, you may feel like you need to tinker with it a bit more. In this section, we explain some techniques that certified Immunity to Change coaches use with their coaching clients, in hopes that they will support you in creating a stronger map. Before coaches work with clients on overturning their immunities, we always spend at least one session on their immunity map to make sure that it is in great shape! Here are our suggestions for how you can do that for yourself.</p>
<h4>Suggestions for Column 1: Your Starting Commitment</h4>
</html>
<quizz name="improvement-goal-right" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Do you think you have the right Improvement Goal?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">Check to see how compelling your column one goal still feels for you. For some people, it takes time to get the first column right. A common mistake people make is choosing a goal that does not implicate them. See if that's the issue for you. Are you clearly naming what you need to get better at? If so, then ask yourself whether the goal you've named feels very important to you. It may have felt that way when you started your map, but sometimes the importance fades relative to seeing a Hidden Commitment; or its importance may simply fade over time. If it doesn't feel really worthwhile to you, it's worth starting a new map. One way to jump-start identifying a powerful enough new focus is to explore whether there is a goal you have pursued unsuccessfully in the past that continues to be important to you (perhaps you've outright failed, or you've made minimal progress or backslid). If you choose to identify a more promising goal, you'll do best to go to topic 6. TODO-LINK</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Now that you have tried to create an immunity map, do you want to choose a different Improvement Goal? Maybe you have changed your mind and want to focus on something else? Maybe you want your goal to be more specific? Maybe your goal feels too specific? Maybe now that you have done a lot of thinking, you realize that you want to change your column 1 commitment? That's fine. You can go to TODO-LINK</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="improvement-goal-wording" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Do you think you have the right wording for your Improvement Goal?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">
<html>
<p>Does your column 1 Improvement Goal accurately express your hopes? Some people find that they need to play around with the ways they describe their commitment until it says exactly what they mean. We have also found that some clients are helped by really focusing on the get better at part of their commitment. Such clients should get more specific about what most needs to change if they are to achieve their goal. For example, "I am committed to being more compassionate" might get revised to "I am committed to getting better at listening openly and carefully when to my spouse."</p>
<p>Or you might find that making your commitment more general leads to more powerful learning. For example, "I am committed to losing 35 pounds so that I can wear a size 10 dress" might get revised to "I am committed to being more deliberate about what I eat, when I eat, and how much I eat." When you have settled on the wording that feels best to you, continue on to see if those revisions in Column 1 help you revise the other columns as well.</p>
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</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Are there other ways to say your Improvement Goal that might be better for you? Are the words you are choosing the best ones to use? If you try to use different words, your goal may feel more accurate or more powerful. Or, you can try to change the focus a little bit to see if that makes an important difference.</tip>
</quizz>
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<h4>Suggestions for Column 2: The Things You are Doing and Not Doing that Undermine Your Starting Commitment</h4>
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<quizz name="doing-not-doing-thorough" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Is your list of "doing/not doing insteads" robust and thorough enough?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">Did you list everything you can think of? Did you give yourself lots of time to think? Often we find that when we look at this column again, we can identify behaviors we didn't think of the first time. If your list is pretty short and/or rather vague, you might want to get the opinions of others who may have some insight about the things you do that stand in the way of reaching your goal. Think about asking your friends, your family, co-workers or boss, or anyone else who might be well informed about you and/or your Improvement Goal. If you have access to any expert advice (advice you might learn about from a well-regarded book on the subject or from someone you know who is skilled in the area you wish to improve), that will also be a good source to consider. What behaviors do they recommend? What do they caution you not to do? When you have added to your list, then continue on to see if those revisions in Column 2 help you revise columns 3 and 4.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Look at your list of behaviors in column 2 to see if there are other behaviors you should add. Is there someone who knows you well who can think of other behaviors to include in the list? Have you heard or read any expert advice about your Improvement Goal that can give you more ideas about what to add?</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="doing-not-doing-too-long" type="yes-maybe-understand">
<question>Do you have a pretty long and/or wide-ranging list of "doing/not doing insteads"?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">If you have included lots of different behaviors, your map might lose its focus. Check and see if one or two of the behaviors on your list seem like they are the ones that are the biggest obstacles for you. If there are such behaviors that seem to get in your way the most, make note of them to make sure you are paying the most attention to them when you start to think about your fears. Then continue on to see if those revisions in Column 2 help you revise columns 3 and 4.</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Do you have too many behaviors listed? Decide which behaviors are the biggest problems for you and make sure to think about the fears or worries you have if you do the opposite of them.</tip>
</quizz>
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<h4>Suggestions for Column 3: Your Fears and Hidden, Competing Commitments</h4>
<p>Column 3 is where you are most likely to get off-track. It may be the case that you misread one of the directions or suggestions. For example, you may identify fears and/or hidden competing commitments that have a kind of noble ring to them, such as, "I am committed to not being selfish." Or "I worry that other important work won't get done well." Or you may come up with something that feels true but also kind of weak and unsurprising, such as, "I am committed to enjoying my meals." (Who isn't?) If either of these problems is true for you, we suggest you go back over our directions for identifying your fears and hidden, competing commitments to see that helps you identify something more powerful. Here are some additional suggestions:</p>
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<quizz name="worries-powerful" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Have you identified fears and worries that feel very powerful?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">
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<p>Focus on the behaviors in column 2 that feel as if they are the biggest obstacles for you and imagine doing the opposite. Give yourself more time to think and to imagine, to see what comes up. You may have more than one fear for each behavior. If you identify a worry or fear that doesn't feel really strong, keep looking to see if there is another fear lurking nearby. You can also continue to probe a weak-feeling fear by asking yourself "What feels the worst about that for me?" That may lead you to a more powerful fear. For example, imagine I have the fear, "I will feel disappointed or let down," I can ask myself, what would feel the worst about that? Maybe what feels the worst is, "I won't have been able to control how I feel. I will feel out of control."</p>
<p>Another strategy to try is to ask yourself the following question: "How might doing the opposite of my column 2 behaviors damage the way I most like for others to see me (or the way I most like to see myself)?" Or try this question: "How might doing the opposite of my column 2 behaviors lead me to see myself (or lead others to see me) in a way that I would hate?"</p>
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</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Are the fears and worries in column 3 small fears and worries, or are they big ones? When you see them, do you feel uncomfortable? If they are small or don't feel uncomfortable, see if there are other bigger fears that might also be there.</tip>
</quizz>
<quizz name="competing-commitments-powerful" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Have you identified hidden, competing commitments that feel powerful?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">
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<p>When you translate your fears to hidden, competing commitments, make sure you preserve the sense of danger in your wording. Sometimes the power of the fear gets bleached out, and you may need to reword your commitment so that it captures that danger. If you fear that your mother will feel deeply hurt when you don't eat her lasagna, but your Hidden Commitment is to "show how much I love my mother," you've lost something in translation. How about, "I am committed to always being the 'good son' my mother expects me to be and to live my life on her terms"? Or, "I am committed to preserving the peace in our family, at all costs?"</p>
<p>Our list of common fears and Hidden Commitments can also give you some ideas. TODO-LINK</p>
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</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Do your Hidden Commitments lead you to feel uncomfortable? Do they include some danger? If the Hidden Commitments are not as dangerous as your fears, try to change them a bit so that they do feel powerful.</tip>
</quizz>
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<h4>Suggestions for Column 4: Your Big Assumptions</h4>
<p>It can be really hard for us to see what we have been assuming if we can't imagine that things could be any different than how we have been thinking about them.</p>
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<quizz name="big-assumptions-identified" type="yes-maybenot-understand">
<question>Did you identify the Big Assumptions that keep your whole immune system in place?</question>
<tip reject="maybenot">
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<p>Big Assumptions often involve ideas about what we absolutely can't do or shouldn't do.</p>
<ul>
<li>"I assume that if I try to lose weight, I will fail, and then I will feel worse than I do now."</li>
<li>"I assume if I do eat more healthily, my husband won't like what I cook and will be annoyed with me.")</li>
</ul>
<p>Or they may involve what we feel we must do.</p>
<ul>
<li>"I assume that I always have to be the one who helps others reach their goals".</li>
</ul>
<p>Look at your map to see if there are any places you seem to be thinking along these lines and consider whether you might be making some Big Assumptions.</p>
<p>Big Assumptions can also lurk whenever we see things in stark terms. If there is something that feels very black-and-white, like it is either all one way or all another way, you may actually be overstating things in a way that suggests you are making a Big Assumption. For example, if my starting commitment is to "find the beautiful, slim me that I dream of," and one of my fears is that I will fail and "see that I will always be ugly and fat," I've only given myself two options: a wonderful one and a horrible one. What are my assumptions? Perhaps they are: "I assume that if I don't follow my diet perfectly, and I screw up even once, then I might as well give up and admit that I'll never succeed." Or, "I assume that thin people are morally good and deserve to be happy and overweight people are morally bad and deserve to be unhappy."</p>
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</tip>
<tip reject="understand">Your Big Assumptions support your immune system. Sometimes it can be very hard to see what we are assuming because we can't imagine that there are other possibilities. When you look at your map, ask yourself questions like, "What do I believe I can't do&#x2026;? What do I believe I must do&#x2026;? Do I see things too simply, as though they are, either this or that?</tip>
</quizz>
</mentoring>
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